Why You Always In A Mood?

The ups and downs of 2020 hit everyone hard. I wish there was something else to talk about but these days it feels like five steps forward and ten steps back. I wish 2021 felt somewhat different but two weeks in and we are still asking a lot of the same questions and already wondering what will become of this year. 

We face the fear, we act on instinct, we rely on ourselves to pull ourselves up, to dust ourselves off and to keep moving.

I’ve been finding it hard to sit down and write articles or anything at all because everything just feels stale and lackluster. Some days I have hope and others I have no feeling at all. How did we get here? I know it's a slippery slope and to be honest it’s the reason why everyday I try so hard to be positive, to get my workouts and meditations in. Because I know how easily I fall into these funks and moods that I can’t pull myself out of. Until now, when I found something that actually helped me to see the light. 

Last month I started reading The Book of Moods by Lauren Martin and I have to say it’s the closest thing I’ve been able to relate to in a long time. It’s been months since I’ve been able to see my best friends and that is a gap that I feel deeply. The book has been an outlet that reminds me of what normal life used to feel like and even though what we remember as “normal” was far from perfect, it was so good to get caught up in small things like planning where you would meet your friends for dinner after work, the constant struggle between taking the subway or paying for Uber, and feeling guilty for trying to back out of plans that you made a month ago. The little things that used to bother us seem so trivial and now we would give anything to have them back. 

The Book Of Moods by Lauren Martin

I think one of the most meaningful parts of The Book Of Moods is how unapologetic it is. How real each mood is. As I move through it I am reminded of all the time that I wasted stuck in these moods, shutting off at the first sight of an unpleasant thought or an unwelcome comment.

This is a book for any and all females in your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and beyond. I know we’re not all exactly the same, but as women we go through so much of the same stuff day in and day out. And we deal with it like champs. We face the fear, we act on instinct, we rely on ourselves to pull ourselves up, to dust ourselves off and to keep moving. But there is a community out there that we have to know has our back.

It’s why we sit in our rooms and write blog posts and dream up content to deliver, because we believe that what we are going through will somehow help someone else. Because we know we can’t be alone in this life. We feel too much love, too much emotion, too much energy to believe that we aren’t all in this together. When we stop and appreciate the women around us, the ones who have helped us, who raised us, who listened to us, who fought for us, who befriended us, and who showed up for us, we will remember the women who have gone before us and we will never forget the ones who stood behind us. 

It’s funny that something as ironically simple as a book about moods could make me feel such a way, so surrounded and supported in a time of isolation. But that’s what writing can do. That’s why I beat myself up when I don’t sit down to write everyday because it feels like I am not only doing myself a disservice, but I am also doing a disservice to all of you. 

Each time I sit down to write I say a prayer and ask these four simple questions: What would you have me do? Where would you have me go? What would you have me say? And to whom? These four questions are a reminder that my writing is not for me. It is what I love to do. It is when I feel most alive, but if it’s not being used to help others, if I am not being of service in some way through my writing, then what’s it all for? 

The next time you want to put off writing or cooking or recording your podcast or pursuing whatever it is that you love doing, remember that there are people out there who need that special gift that only you have to offer. There are people who need you. They need to hear your story at the exact moment that you are willing to share it.

The Book Of Moods came into my life exactly when I needed it. It made me aware of who I am when I am not at my best and who I want to strive to be everyday. It’s books like this that remind us of why we try so hard to show up as our best selves. If you ever lose sight of where you are in life or where you are going, always come back to your why. You will always figure out what you are doing, as confusing as it may feel at times, we are all always figuring it out. But your why is what will guide you through any mood that comes your way.